Thoughts
by Meme-Ann
Summary: Complete!! Connie, Guy, Dwayne love triangle. Not really my normal caliber, but I was bored.
1. Wasn't worth it

~*Connie's POV*~  
  
  
I'm standing here looking in the mirror and I can hardly stand the site of my own face. I know I told you, they were just my friends, but I think the only person I was fooling was myself. The handsome cowboy with his child like naiveness and the smooth Latin Casanova. I was spending almost every waking minute with one of the two, so wrapped up in them I hardly noticed the distance between us growing from a small gap to the Grand Canyon. I don't know why I did what I did the night I gave myself to him. I won't tell you which one it was, you'd only hold it against him. All I know is there was something about being in his arms that made me feel like I was soaring, the same feeling I used to get when we first got together, all those years ago. We were both foolish to believe we'd be the couple that broke the odds, that stayed together from the time they turned ten, forever. I mean to think we'd never love another for the rest of our lives. I didn't love them though, no I guess I did. I mean I must have to throw away everything I had with you for one night with him right? I almost feel like I betrayed the other one too. How wrong is that? Have I been filling him with false hopes that there was a future for us. And the one I was with that night, will he think I'm now his girl? I certainly hope not because I can't see myself as anyone's girl but yours. Tell me that doesn't sound pathetic after what I did. How could I even ask you to forgive me? I don't know maybe it's wishful thinking that you'll still stay with me. It retrospect I have to say, he wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it. I love you, I always have. Please don't cry, god I've never seen you cry before. No don't walk out the door! Don't leave me! I'm sorry so sorry! Now you're gone and it wasn't worth it. 


	2. First time for everything

~*Guys POV*~  
  
  
  
I can't believe you actually just said those words to me. I can't get the image out of my mind now of you in his arms. The worst thing is I have guys not one but two guys not to trust now. Two guys that I would've trusted my life too yesterday, now I know I couldn't even trust my girl with at least one of them. Why won't you just tell me who it was? It would ease my mind in some small degree, you owe me that much. Then there would be one less person for me to despise, leaving just you and traitor. How could you do it? Was I that bad of a boyfriend that you had to replace me? Did I ever do anything that let you down? I never meant to if I did. I always thought your lips had only been against mine, my kisses were the only one you've ever tasted. Now I know your lips had been pressed to mine after they touched him. It's driving me mad. The Cowboy and the Latin lover both just passed me in the hall, both waved and said "How ya doin' Guy?" One of them knows the answer I gave of "Fine." was a lie. One of them knows if I knew it was him that did this to us I'd never forgive him. My birthdays next week, how am I gonna explain to my mom how you, 22 and 7 weren't invited? I could tell her, you cheated on me with one of them and don't have the common courtesy to tell me which, therefore I had to leave all three of you off the guest list. But I'm sure you don't want me to do that. Maybe I can let you come and explain it to her, I bet she'd love to hear from your mouth how you ripped out her sons heart. I've gotta ask you, was it worth it? Was being with him that great, laying in his bed that special? I've been wracking my brain to think of something I could've done to stop this, to keep your love for only me. I heard you screaming as I walked out of your room that you were sorry. But it's too little too late. You begged me not to cry, said you've never seen me cry. You were right you never have, but there's a first time for everything. I'd never looked at you as a whore before either, like I said there's a first time of everything. My dorm room phone is ringing, I can hear it on the other side of the door. Charlie just picked it up and said "No Connie, Guy's not here." I could've opened the door that second and had time to get to the phone before you hung up. I don't want to, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you but most of all I don't want to think of you. Sadly that's all I can do. 


	3. I love you Connie

Dwayne's POV  
  
  
Guy hasn't spoken to me or Luis in four days. Though I'm awful sure he's thinkin' it was Luis that stole you away from him. I gotta admit it seems unreal to me too. Why would a beautiful filly like you Connie, ever wanna be with a dumb redneck like me? I don't have anythin to offer you, except my heart. It's hard for me to be around you all the time and not be able to put my arms around you or kiss your cheek. The mornin I woke up with you in my bed was the best mornin of my life. You haven't laid beside me since then, but I understand, I understand you better then you think I do. I know the team thinks I'm a stupid cowboy, maybe they're right maybe I don't know much about anythin but the rodeo and hockey. But I know I love you and I know I'm gonna be right here waiting for you, you get done thinkin. No matter what you decide on I'm gonna love you. Will you ever tell 'em all it was me, I know they'll all be mad but I want to world to know. I wanna pull you up onto my white stallion and ride off into the sunset, with you. When graduation comes, I'll never see the rest of the ducks again I reckon, but I wanna have you in my life always. Come back to Austin with me when school gets out. We run the ranch, raise a family, just like my daddy did. I can't picture myself with any other girl, I haven't be able to since I met ya'll at the Goodwill Games. I don't wanna change your mind but I gotta say, you remember at the last Iceland game, when Oalf was about to squish you, remember I saved you not Guy. I was the one that couldn't bare to see you hurt, even if you can take care of yourself. I will always be there to make sure you're safe. I love you Connie Moreau. I will till the day I die. 


	4. I'm sorry

"Oh Dwayne, please don't say all of those nice things to me. I really don't deserve them. I'm in no way near the sweet person you make me out to be. I cheated on my childhood lover for no better reason then I was bored and felt I needed a change. As much as I don't want to hurt you, you have to know I would leave you in an instant to have him back again. It's not that I date have feelings for you Cowboy, I do, I care for you deeply, but they're simply not the same feelings I have for Guy. I love him with all my heart. Connie and Guy, Guy and Connie that's how it's supposed to be.  
  
I can't bare what we've done to him. What I've done to him. Now you're sitting in front of me with tears in you chocolate eyes, your captivating southern drawl wavering with emotion as you speak. You can't start crying too Dwayne, I can't take that. I can't deal with knowing I drove the two most special men in my life to tears. Come on you're a ruff and tumble cowboy, they're not supposed to cry. They drink whiskey and cheap beer, get into bar fights and ride bulls. Manly, tuff stuff. Not cry, they never cry.  
  
I'm going to tell him it was you, just to ease his troubled mind if only to the smallest degree. He'll probably hate you as much as he does me but at least then he'll stop threatening poor innocent Luis for ten seconds. I know it's driving him more crazy not knowing which of you can and can not trust.  
  
I know you don't want to hear this Dwayne but you've got to let me go. I'm not yours anymore, if I even ever was. All of this was just a foolish mistake on my part. Being lost in your kisses one minute, waking up nude in your arms the next. I don't even know how I allowed myself to get this deep into a relationship with you to began with.  
  
We both knew this could never work. Well I did anyway and you tricked yourself into believing otherwise. I'm so sorry, I never meant to cause you pain. But I don't love you, I can't love you. It's him I want, him I can't tolerate being without. Please try to understand, you said you understood me better then anyone else. You mean the world to me Dwayne, you really do, but this isn't love. And I'm so sorry." 


	5. It's not me

I don't know how many ways I can tell you I'm sorry, Guy. I did the impossible, I tore you and Connie apart. I never meant to cause any trouble between you two, never dreamt of interfering with your perfect love. But no man is that strong, no guy in his right mind could deny her beauty. Connie has something about her, making her better then any other girl. I couldn't help the way I feel for her anymore then you could. Everything about her makes me happy, I love it all, her smile, her voice, her eyes, her laugh.  
  
I'm not going to ask you to forgive me, I know I don't deserve it. But please don't hold this against Connie. As much as it kills me to say this Guy, it's you she loves, you she wants to spend the rest of forever with. I wish it was me, I prayed it would be, but I'm not. I wish I was the only one that could bring a smile to her face on those days that she doesn't want to go on, but I can't. All I ever wanted since the first time I met her was to see her happy. Only you can make that happen, only you brighten up her expression.  
  
Please forgive her Guy. Take her in her in your arms, wipe away her tears and bring that special smile back to her face. Punch me, hate me, don whatever you want but do it to me. Don't stop loving Connie. We both know she'll never stop loving you. You belong together. Please Guy I'm begging you, make her happy again. 


	6. I'm done

Guy to Dwayne  
I can't say I forgive you for what you did to me Dwayne, for what you did to Connie and I. But I can say I understand. I know what it's like to have her on you mind 24/7, to her be the thing that keeps you getting every morning. Mostly I know what it's like to be in her arms, feeling her kisses and think you're the only one for her.  
  
I don't hold you completely responsible Cowboy, I know it takes four lips to kiss, two of which had to be hers. And I've known Connie long enough to know she's not turned on by guys that come on strong. I'm sure she had at least some say in this, that she's not the innocent damsel that was seduced by the ruff and rugged Cowboy. Plus, no offence Dwayne, but you're not exactly the seductive type.  
  
As for forgiving her, I'm sure I can forgive her, after all she is the love of my life. But I can never forget what she did, not being able to forget it though, will prevent me ever being able to trust her again. I guess maybe I shouldn't have trusted her to begin with.  
  
I have to say, that you're the last person I ever would have suspected. You always seemed so nice, naive, I guess you could say, like the stereotypical Texan. I would've pointed the finger at Charlie and he's been my best friend since I was five, before I would've thought of you. I mean this is the type of thing Luis and Portman are supposed to do, not you Dwayne.  
  
The last thing I have to say is, take her. I can't be with her anymore, yet I can't stand to see her alone. I don't wanna see her cry, or be lonely. She's yours now, take care of her. If you ever hurt her, I'll hunt you and kill you. Keep that mind. But I'm done. 


End file.
